Is not Mad Men, nor is it 30 Rock. It is Trailer Park Boys!!!
countdown to fucking Liquor Day!!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
We at the Desk bring you...
Fido.
Lionsgate presents "FIDO", starring Carrie Anne Moss, Billy Connolly, Tim Blake Nelson, and introducing K'Sun Ray. What begins as a small town story about a boy and his best friend becomes a biting satire about our world, the price of fear, and the rewards of risking love. FIDO will rip your heart out.
Lionsgate presents "FIDO", starring Carrie Anne Moss, Billy Connolly, Tim Blake Nelson, and introducing K'Sun Ray. What begins as a small town story about a boy and his best friend becomes a biting satire about our world, the price of fear, and the rewards of risking love. FIDO will rip your heart out.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
R.I.P. Patrick Swayze
Man, we here at the Desk are sure going to miss us some Patrick Swayze. Now it would be easy for us to point your viewing power towards say Roadhouse or Point Break but we are going to go a little off the beaten path and throw you towards....
We will you miss you young prince.
We will you miss you young prince.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Today we bring you...
Brain Candy!
A team of scientists working for a pharmaceutical company discovers a cure for depression. When the company finds itself in trouble financially, they rush the new drug into production without doing enough testing. Things seem to go fine until some of the users of the drug start slipping into comas. It becomes a race between the scientists who want to tell the world the truth and the company's marketing department who wants to protect their profit margin.
If you love the Kids in the Hall, you will love Brain Candy, but if you hate them, you will hate this. I am a big fan of the group and this is just like a very good episode that lasts 89 minutes with a bigger budget and more freedom than on television. Some characters like the hilarious Cancer Boy could never have been shown on TV. All the members of the group are there and they are as good as usual. I just don't get people who don't laugh at Kevin's(my favorite member) face when he plays the suicidal father of Chris or Mark as the "spiritual" cab driver. And just who could resist Scott as a man who refuses to accept the fact that he is gay. And Bruce has some of the best roles, such as the rock star and Cancer Boy. David Foley seems to have gotten the weakest characters, but he is still funny. His best moments are in episodes of the show, not in this. The absurd humor of the show is there, but it is a bit darker. And sure, the directing is not very subtle, but it gives that special Kids in the Hall feel that this movie had to have. And for those who have never seen material by The Kids in the Hall, I strongly suggest that you see this or episodes of their TV show, since they are just hilarious and you may very well get addicted to their unique kind of humor. Personally, I love them, and this movie is very funny in my humble opinion.
A team of scientists working for a pharmaceutical company discovers a cure for depression. When the company finds itself in trouble financially, they rush the new drug into production without doing enough testing. Things seem to go fine until some of the users of the drug start slipping into comas. It becomes a race between the scientists who want to tell the world the truth and the company's marketing department who wants to protect their profit margin.
If you love the Kids in the Hall, you will love Brain Candy, but if you hate them, you will hate this. I am a big fan of the group and this is just like a very good episode that lasts 89 minutes with a bigger budget and more freedom than on television. Some characters like the hilarious Cancer Boy could never have been shown on TV. All the members of the group are there and they are as good as usual. I just don't get people who don't laugh at Kevin's(my favorite member) face when he plays the suicidal father of Chris or Mark as the "spiritual" cab driver. And just who could resist Scott as a man who refuses to accept the fact that he is gay. And Bruce has some of the best roles, such as the rock star and Cancer Boy. David Foley seems to have gotten the weakest characters, but he is still funny. His best moments are in episodes of the show, not in this. The absurd humor of the show is there, but it is a bit darker. And sure, the directing is not very subtle, but it gives that special Kids in the Hall feel that this movie had to have. And for those who have never seen material by The Kids in the Hall, I strongly suggest that you see this or episodes of their TV show, since they are just hilarious and you may very well get addicted to their unique kind of humor. Personally, I love them, and this movie is very funny in my humble opinion.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Greatest Film of All Time
About a killer penis.
Strange thing is it is actually not a horrible movie and there is not a whole lot of sex in the film.
If you see it coming, you're already dead.
Ron: How you feel, that's what matters. Look at me. I don't look like a porn star, except for my cock. But I play the fool, and I get the joke. I'm in on it, and that makes it kind of hip. And I try to bring a different character into every role that I play. And that gives me confidence. But I can't suck my own dick any more.
Veronica: Awww, sweetie, I'm sorry.
Ron: With the added weight and the back pains, all I can do is kiss the tip.
Strange thing is it is actually not a horrible movie and there is not a whole lot of sex in the film.
If you see it coming, you're already dead.
Ron: How you feel, that's what matters. Look at me. I don't look like a porn star, except for my cock. But I play the fool, and I get the joke. I'm in on it, and that makes it kind of hip. And I try to bring a different character into every role that I play. And that gives me confidence. But I can't suck my own dick any more.
Veronica: Awww, sweetie, I'm sorry.
Ron: With the added weight and the back pains, all I can do is kiss the tip.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Today The Desk Brings you...
Frankenhooker. Looking for some action? Wanna Date?
If you're a tiny bit familiar with the more light-headed and grotesque 80's horror cheese, the name Frank Hennenlotter won't sound new to you. "Basket Case" and "Brain Damage" are classics that prove creativity and dynamic motivation are actually all that is needed in order to make a fresh-looking horror film. Another triumph of ingeniousness in Hennenlotter's career is this "Frankenhooker". His most comic and personal film to date. It looks like slapstick, yet with a fair amount of gore, but it never at one point becomes entirely ridiculous or dumb. It's actually hysterical and imaginative (unless you're one of the humorless critics like so many on this review-list). A young electrician/brain surgeon (funny combination, isn't it?) loses his girl in a nasty lawnmower accident. Now, that thing alone actually made me chuckle! He wants to resurrect her, but since most of her body got hacked up, he has to collect new "parts". And where better to find those but in the red-light district of New Jersey. Naturally, both the preparations as the operation itself go horribly wrong and the 'hero' has to face absurd consequences. Like few other directors can manage, Frank Hennenlotter inserts his trademarks and typical styles. Frankenhooker is silly, but also very imaginative (exploding whores, anyone?) and it doesn't feature one dull moment. Hennenlotter surely was one of the most talented and self-educated directors in the horror industry. If he would have slightly more movies, I'm sure he would now enjoy a more justified status. I keep on hearing he will return in 2005 with a project called "Sick in the Head". Well I, for one, really hope it's true.
In a blaze of blood, bones, and body parts, the vivacious young girl was instantly reduced to a tossed human salad... a salad that police are still trying to gather up... a salad that was once named Elizabeth.
If you're a tiny bit familiar with the more light-headed and grotesque 80's horror cheese, the name Frank Hennenlotter won't sound new to you. "Basket Case" and "Brain Damage" are classics that prove creativity and dynamic motivation are actually all that is needed in order to make a fresh-looking horror film. Another triumph of ingeniousness in Hennenlotter's career is this "Frankenhooker". His most comic and personal film to date. It looks like slapstick, yet with a fair amount of gore, but it never at one point becomes entirely ridiculous or dumb. It's actually hysterical and imaginative (unless you're one of the humorless critics like so many on this review-list). A young electrician/brain surgeon (funny combination, isn't it?) loses his girl in a nasty lawnmower accident. Now, that thing alone actually made me chuckle! He wants to resurrect her, but since most of her body got hacked up, he has to collect new "parts". And where better to find those but in the red-light district of New Jersey. Naturally, both the preparations as the operation itself go horribly wrong and the 'hero' has to face absurd consequences. Like few other directors can manage, Frank Hennenlotter inserts his trademarks and typical styles. Frankenhooker is silly, but also very imaginative (exploding whores, anyone?) and it doesn't feature one dull moment. Hennenlotter surely was one of the most talented and self-educated directors in the horror industry. If he would have slightly more movies, I'm sure he would now enjoy a more justified status. I keep on hearing he will return in 2005 with a project called "Sick in the Head". Well I, for one, really hope it's true.
In a blaze of blood, bones, and body parts, the vivacious young girl was instantly reduced to a tossed human salad... a salad that police are still trying to gather up... a salad that was once named Elizabeth.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Forgotten film of the day
Today we at the Desk salute "Cool As Ice". Staring Vanilla Ice himself along with Michael Gross of Family Ties and Tremors fame and the always amazing hott Kristin Minter. How the hell this film gets a 2.2/10 rating on IMDB boggles my mind. It is an absolute classic. The film is shot in same strange visual style that "Parker Louis Can't Lose" was it screams 1991 because that seemed to be the only year it was popular. Also this is yet another movie on this list that includes Deezer D AKA Stab Master Arson in the cast. Strange?
I will leave you with words of a genius.
I will leave you with words of a genius.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Are you kidding me!!!!
We here at the Desk find this to be our new favorite upcoming film!
This looks amazing. I can't see if this is coming to Theaters but apparently it comes out on DVD in November
This looks amazing. I can't see if this is coming to Theaters but apparently it comes out on DVD in November
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Forgotten movie of the Day
FEAR OF A BLACK HAT
This film is one of our favorites here at the desk. Staring Larry B Scott, better known as Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds and Rusty Cundieff who later went on to do alot of work on Chapelle Show. Of course it also has Desk Fav Deezer D in it so you know its gonna be good.
My Peanuts video
New Human Formantics
This film is one of our favorites here at the desk. Staring Larry B Scott, better known as Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds and Rusty Cundieff who later went on to do alot of work on Chapelle Show. Of course it also has Desk Fav Deezer D in it so you know its gonna be good.
My Peanuts video
New Human Formantics
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Boondock Saints was a terrible fucking movie!
That being said and out of the way the Desk brings you Boondock Saints 2: Sean Patrick Flanery is in need of money for crack. Honestly that guy looks like he has aged 40 years!
Now lets talk about why Boondock Saints Blows.
Why exactly would two Russian gangsters go into a semi-abandoned building, find their targets sleeping alone in a room, then take only one of them OUTSIDE INTO BROAD DAY LIGHT to be executed? It doesn't matter whether or not a person can rip a toilet off the floor OR jump off a 5-story building killing two "bad" people while not touching the third "good" person; any idiot could see that they would have just been killed there in the room, out of sight, with no witnesses. Furthermore, I believe Ivan or Igor (or whatever the cliched name used) said something along the lines of "...instead i'll let you watch me kill your brother." how is he supposed to watch him kill his brother if he takes him down four flights of stairs, then outside, while connor is still face-down in a toilet?
The whole six-gun/vs. machine gun debate is also moot in my book because if we (the audience) are to believe that the brothers can murder 9 people while dangling upside down from a string (a point of humor addressed in the dialogue, granted) are we to believe that the apparently “most F-ed up maniac” professional hitman would stand outside (again in BROAD DAYLIGHT) missing all three people corralled into a confined area, then those same THREE PEOPLE missing one single upright target? Flesh wounds? Is that it? It reminds me of every hokey space movie of lazer beams flying everywhere but at their target. [Also, why does an Irish hitman, (who -according to the self-righteous theoretical intention of wiping out evil men- would have been more likely to kill mobsters, not work for them) go by the Italian name of “Il Duche” (the duke/leader) used by Mussolini? An ascribe by the mob does not fit. It sounds like the writer couldn't think of any "cool" nicknames.]
For that matter, if the brothers go to kill the people in the billiard room (apparently the victims were getting ready to play their weekly poker game) my question is this: WHO THE F- plays poker with their friends at 3:30 in the afternoon? Isn’t the whole point of poker with your friends to go out, get drunk, and bust your friends’ balls until all hours of the night, then stumble out just as the sun is coming up? It was little points like these that maddened me, thinking I was suckered by one of my friends who told me this was a great movie. Was I watching the same film? Did I get the title wrong? Nope, even the teenaged girl at Best Buy who rang me up said “Oooo! Great movie!” Are you kidding me? You are all diseased.
I will leave you with some lines from Troy Duffy Himself.
Now lets talk about why Boondock Saints Blows.
Why exactly would two Russian gangsters go into a semi-abandoned building, find their targets sleeping alone in a room, then take only one of them OUTSIDE INTO BROAD DAY LIGHT to be executed? It doesn't matter whether or not a person can rip a toilet off the floor OR jump off a 5-story building killing two "bad" people while not touching the third "good" person; any idiot could see that they would have just been killed there in the room, out of sight, with no witnesses. Furthermore, I believe Ivan or Igor (or whatever the cliched name used) said something along the lines of "...instead i'll let you watch me kill your brother." how is he supposed to watch him kill his brother if he takes him down four flights of stairs, then outside, while connor is still face-down in a toilet?
The whole six-gun/vs. machine gun debate is also moot in my book because if we (the audience) are to believe that the brothers can murder 9 people while dangling upside down from a string (a point of humor addressed in the dialogue, granted) are we to believe that the apparently “most F-ed up maniac” professional hitman would stand outside (again in BROAD DAYLIGHT) missing all three people corralled into a confined area, then those same THREE PEOPLE missing one single upright target? Flesh wounds? Is that it? It reminds me of every hokey space movie of lazer beams flying everywhere but at their target. [Also, why does an Irish hitman, (who -according to the self-righteous theoretical intention of wiping out evil men- would have been more likely to kill mobsters, not work for them) go by the Italian name of “Il Duche” (the duke/leader) used by Mussolini? An ascribe by the mob does not fit. It sounds like the writer couldn't think of any "cool" nicknames.]
For that matter, if the brothers go to kill the people in the billiard room (apparently the victims were getting ready to play their weekly poker game) my question is this: WHO THE F- plays poker with their friends at 3:30 in the afternoon? Isn’t the whole point of poker with your friends to go out, get drunk, and bust your friends’ balls until all hours of the night, then stumble out just as the sun is coming up? It was little points like these that maddened me, thinking I was suckered by one of my friends who told me this was a great movie. Was I watching the same film? Did I get the title wrong? Nope, even the teenaged girl at Best Buy who rang me up said “Oooo! Great movie!” Are you kidding me? You are all diseased.
I will leave you with some lines from Troy Duffy Himself.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
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